"The age of youth was created for heroic service and not for pleasure."

This quote hangs in the living room of our staff house on 829 Franklin Avenue, Aliquippa, PA. Although it has been there all summer, it hasn't always held significant meaning for me. As the summer began, five weeks ago for me, I was excited to be here in Aliquippa doing something familiar. Working with the summer day camp (which currently constitutes Aliquippa Impact, Inc.'s main ministry) last summer was a joy and a challenge. Despite the summer's vast challenges, on the whole I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was a pleasure to be with the kids most of the time. It was in the anticipation of this joy that I was looking forward to City Camp 07.

Well this summer has been different. I'm working a similar position with a bit more responsibility. Staff has changed, but everyone is totally reliable and competent. There are a lot more kids involved in the program this summer, and that has definitely added to the challenge of day camp.

Challenge. Challenge is probably the best way to describe this summer. Last summer was a challenge for me, but somehow I think if this summer had been just like last summer, it would not have been a challenge for me. It would have been to predictable, to comfortable. Prior to this summer I never knew what it felt like to be tired, exhausted and hopeless. It seems like challenges are at every turn, like there is always something else to remember or to do. It seems like there is never enough time to get everything done, let alone sleep and rest. I'm wiped out most of the time.

But somehow, there is no other place I would rather be. This is the most fulfilling thing I have ever done with my time and life. But, I hate it most of the time. It doesn't make sense at all, but somehow through this hardship there is joy, peace and contentment. But those things are not feelings. Somehow my feelings are the exact opposite of what we often think of as joy and peace and contentment.

Somehow this is what is meant by heroic service. There is no feeling of pleasure associated with it. Granted, sometimes my feelings do seem to be pleasure when I am working at day camp, but those feelings come and go just as quickly. This summer, most of the time my feelings are quite the opposite of pleasure. But, I know I am still serving, and I know somehow God is still using what I am trying to do. Most of the time God is using me even when I don't want to be at day camp. Its as if just by being present at day camp God is using me. Some days I feel like all I can do is show up, I don't have the energy to do anything else.

Is what I am doing heroic service? I don't think so. I don't think we are really doing anything spectacular here. But God is working through us, and in spite of us. And I'm more content here than I have ever been even though I am more tired and more miserable some days than I have ever been...

As I browse the Facebook's of my friends from high school I am reminded of how rare this idea is. Its easy to see that many of the kids who sat with me in class are pursuing pleasure. They may even find it sometimes. But those feelings are so fleeting. Feelings come and go so rapidly that I know there must be more to life than them. Somehow true peace and joy are choices that go beyond our temporal feelings. Somehow heroic service IS what we were made for.